People always ask me the same question: What about sex on the first date? Is that allowed? Is it ok? How do I get her to sleep with me right away? Well, for men and women it is important to actually think about what this first date is all about: What kind of relationship do I wish to have with this person? Is it only about sex or is there more to it?
Which takes us right to the old paradox: If a woman has sex with a guy on the first date, he will think that she is easy to get. Her value as a possible life partner drops immensely and he will probably just want more sex – no strings attached.
Here’s the bad news to this story: It is 100% true!
The explanation is an easy one, because if we think about what men really want from women, it is clear that men want a faithful partner – a woman that will not cheat and has good motherly qualities. Both attributes imply that she must not easily go to bed with any guy – especially not on the first date. If she does so anyway, she will immediately and automatically lose her value as a possible partner in his eyes. Thus making a serious relationship highly unlikely. Sex? Sure! Relationship? No way!
Of course we could complain and say that life shouldn’t be this way. But neither culture nor our – highly overestimated – „freewill“ can change this fact. All people on our planet have this embedded in their brains since a few ten thousand years, and we as modern human beings will not live to see a change in that fact. Not us, not our grand children, not even our great great great great grand children.
So what does this mean for thinking about sex on the first date?
Men, who basically would like to have as much sex with as many attractive females of their species as possible, will use every chance to do so. Women who give men the opportunity to do so, need to face the consequences of their actions: If a woman wants to have a guy for more than just sex, she must avoid having sex with him immediately!
And it doesn’t matter if he really really wants to have sex right away, if she feels obliged to give in to sex easily, or if both agreed beforehand to have sex on the first date through chat, emails or over the phone.
Nobody must have sex with anyone at any given time, but women must be very aware of the facts stated above, making it necessary to have a strategy in place on how to handle him on the first date: Flirting and kissing definitely allowed, but if she has any hopes for getting into a real relationship: Make him wait a bit longer!
Even if she fears that he might lose interest if he doesn’t get any sex on the first date: If he is really interested in more than just sex, he will gladly take the opportunity for a second and third date. There is actually no real rule about how long women should make a guy wait for the first sex – this all depends on each person and the culture they are in. But sex on the first date: Girls, hands off, if you want this relationship to become more than just fun and sex!