She shows interest, but doesn’t approach me

I keep receiving questions, all of them resulting in the same issue: a man on a train, in a pub, disco, etc., notices that a woman is showing clear interest in him.  But she doesn’t approach him nor makes any effort otherwise to meet him. What’s going on? There may be three different reasons for this behaviour:

  1. She simply doesn’t dare
  2. She is only vaguely interest
  3. She is waiting for him to approach her

In today’s society, women have become more active and are allowed to take the initiative in approaching men and in fact they do so.

Nevertheless, we keep finding women who are still shy of taking the imitative, especially when they are not quite sure whether the man is worth the risk of being rejected. In this case shyness is a good excuse as any. Besides, she has sent plenty of strong signals in his direction, hasn’t she?

But these are rather superficial reasons for not being able to or wanting to address him. Because the most important reason is quite simple: she is a woman and as such, expects to be approached by the man. Just because he is a man! And there are no valid excuses, no invoking of “modern times” or other stuff to blame: it is the man’s role to approach a woman, taking the initiative and acting self-confidently.

Should he not act this way, he looks just less manly in her eyes, spoiling many chances for himself, even if she finally finds the courage to speak to him. As we have already said, no matter how modern we are, what counts are the points mentioned in “What women really want!”.  If, as men, we do not act this way, we won’t be making just a small mistake, but a really big one indeed.

What does the lack of action say about a man?

That he is unattractive because he is not aggressive and confident, because he does not take the initiative. He will probably not be able to take care of me in the future, because he doesn’t perceive his duties as a man, namely to protect, to be strong, etc. He expects me to take the initiative all the time, even when I don’t feel like doing so most of the time. He is a boring individual and not brave at all; in short, there is nothing that I, as a woman, can expect of him. He may be quite nice, or even good-looking, but that is just not enough.

So, my advice for any man who is wondering why a woman doesn’t approach him in spite of the more than obvious flirting signals and interest shown is: Be a man and talk to her! Anything else leads to absolutely nowhere.