Relationship Counselling Could Be Your Saviour
It’s hard keeping a relationship together at the best of times. After the lust dwindles and normal life takes over, it’s easy to get complacent and let your relationship crumble. Relationships need nurturing in order to keep them fresh, but it’s hard to do that when life throws so many other priorities your way.
You’ll both be distracted by jobs, families, children; so many things get in the way. Some couples are able to spot that this is happening so they make changes in order to rebuild their relationship. For others it is harder – once the lines of communication are down then resentment sets in, arguments happen, and wounds are inflicted.
It’s very hard to come back from this point.
When bitter words have been spoken and accusations thrown, couples tend to enter a vicious circle whereby every discussion turns into an argument. You need to take action before any more damage is done, and the very best way you can do this is by consulting a professional relationship counsellor.
How Does Relationship Counselling Work?
You’ll both go and see the counsellor together, and he or she will give you both an opportunity to outline the situation from your point of view, without the other one interrupting. Once they have a handle on what is going on, they can begin to help. Rather than issuing advice, they are trained to draw answers out of you, and encourage the two of you to begin communicating again in a more productive way. This won’t happen straight away, but you will find that you will argue more ‘politely’ when another person is present – you’ll keep more of a check on yourself.
How Will We Cope?
Be prepared for relationship counselling to open some very sore wounds. You will both need to be very honest about your past and about the way your relationship is conducted in order to get the most out of your sessions. There will be tears and there will be moments when you feel like walking out. Your counsellor may at some point offer you individual sessions before bringing you back together. As the old saying goes, ‘you have to break eggs to make omelettes’ and that is what this whole process is all about – breaking down habits and boundaries to re-establish the relationship.
What is The Success Rate?
How successful the counselling is really depends on how much you want it to be. If, deep in your hearts, you know that the relationship is beyond rescue, then the counsellor will help you both come to terms with this decision, and help you reach an amicable separation. This way you can part company as friends, or at least without any lasting resentment.
You’ll need to be brave to enter into relationship counselling but there is a very good chance that if you and your partner want it to, your relationship can survive. Sometimes all it takes is a middle man or woman to mediate and change the course of a discussion to keep it productive. If you are interested in finding out more, talk to a relationship counsellor in your local area.
License: Creative Commons 1, 2
The author of this post, Jenny Wadlow, is a freelance blogger who writes for Melbourne Counselling, a well known psychologist based in Melbourne offering counselling for relationship problems, anxiety and more. According to her, visiting a relationship counsellor can help couples re-establish their relationship.