As we have already discussed in “The Logic Trap“, men have often incredible problems communicating with women and also vice-versa. We could of course say here that this is a problem for both sexes, but unfortunately I have some bad news for men: since men introduce themselves and women only select them afterwards, it is rather on the side of men that we have to look for responsibilities in terms of communication. In other words, men have to work harder while women can sit back comfortably and watch their toils and moils and say “yes” or “no” to him much later.
Therefore we men have to introduce ourselves to a woman resorting to just the right kind of communication, and in such a way that she finds us attractive.
Attractive is what we have listed in (What Women Really Want), and nowhere on this list do we see things we can achieve using logical reasoning. We may claim to have some of these elements, but without hard evidence using the right kind of communication, no woman will believe it.
A woman just wants to feel understood, she needs no big explanations or exciting stories like we men do. That special bond that is created between a woman and a real man is only done so using emotional communication. For us men, this means that our conversation has to rouse emotions. Here are some tips:
- Reply with stories. To answer to questions, like “what is your work”, you should be able to come up with a good story, which is actually a metaphor for what you really do.
- Answer with tall tales that are immediately recognizable as such. “I am a religion teacher at a girls’ boarding school” can be used as the start of a long story at the same time both silly and funny.
- Always laugh when she does something awkward, and remind her of this on and off during the whole evening.
- Tell stories in which you have experienced something special that allows her to experience the feelings you yourself had in that specific situation, for example, if something particularly nice, bad or funny happened within the family or with friends, put emphasis on your own feelings and those of all people involved.
This of course is a kind of communication that is very difficult and unusual for men.
Therefore you have to practice and learn as much as possible and recognize the effect on other people at the same time. A few specific exercises for this will be available here in a few days. For now, however, you can follow the tips above.
The Psychological Test I have designed specifically for this purpose constitutes an excellent aid, both for beginners and experts. It can be used to practice establishing that special bond with her in a very natural, new and interesting way that no man has previously used to approach her.